Tuesday, August 18, 2009

For love or money??

For love or for money? Why do people get married in this new day and age? I ask these questions because of a recent discussion I had with a female friend who stated that money was the most important factor in marriage ( she is single). Because without money the wheels fall off, there is not enough love to make it work without money. Another woman ( married) said that its not the money per say but what the money can bring. That is security, prosperity, ect. She also went on to state that many marriages fail because of conflicting attitudes on and about money.

I say this, why is money such an importance to begin with? Yeah, I know it gets you things and allows you to live somewhat the way you want but chasing it is like trying to nail the girl of your dreams that considers you a friend, your never going to be satisfied. Marrying for love is more important than marrying for money. If you marry for money chances are high you will fail. What is more important in a marriage love or the loot?

PS shout out to my new followers, would nto be right if I neglected you guys lol.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The TO Show

* Credit goes to " Acts of Faith in Life and Life"

"Lessons African-American Women Can Learn From Watching the Terrell Owens Reality Show

  • Be careful about who you give your support and time to.
  • We need to stop celebrating the individual pursuits of blacks as if it's something that automatically uplifts everyone.
  • You should find out if these black male (actors, athletes, music artists, politicians, etc) are willing and able to uplift women like you.
So a brief breakdown of this scene. Owens has signed with the Buffalo Bills. He's in Niagara Falls with one of his employee/friends. She'd booked a room at a B&B and they messed up the reservation by putting them in the same room. This is the scene where they retire for the evening. He has two very attractive black women who serve the gatekeeper/policing role on this show. Officially they're his PR. As you watch the show you see them complaining about the women he gravitates towards and his reply that they have no lives of their own.

I've watched four episodes and am glad these women are Executive Producers because it means they're at least being compensated. Unlike so many other black women who fill these roles for a mere pat on the head - if that. This guy has no exposure to a black woman with our "typical" hair texture - which tends to be fragile - hence the need for a head scarf. He seems to have no intention of doing so either. Which is his choice. It's revealed that he cheated on his fiancee so even her appeal was not enough to guarantee his fidelity.

Notice how his friend points out that his dating trends are limited to white and "exotic" women. He doesn't date women who look like her. This is where I react and not because I think black men belong to black women but because of the apathy and disregard that has become the norm. It's so one-sided where we are rejected for no reason at all other than the poor attitude of these men. His underlying disdain is so obvious. He doesn't value black women as equals.

There isn't anything we can do about it - or should try to do about it actually but WAKE UP. If the role was reversed and it was black women exercising their rights to date and bed all the non-black or "exotic" men they wanted black men (and some black women who don't want us to have choices) would be howling. Like this poster at The Black Snob who has no verifiable account to trace back to them but is complaining about Black Women Empowerment bloggers who "constantly talk about black men" and "push mating with white men". Ha! The lack of reciprocity and blatant hypocrisy is what infuriates me.

I loved her reply to him though how any man she's with would notice her quality as a mate and not hold wearing a scarf against her. Even Anthony Bourdain knows what a doo-rag is used for. Are you paying attention ladies?"

I know the TO show has caused excitement, especially over the whole head scarf deal. But the overall question of this is do you think this blogger is right? would the bruhs flip if black women were dating white or whatever types of dudes, do you think its hypocrisy at work?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I was having a conversation with a friend of mines who is a male. He said that at a bar there was a blond woman who we worked with that happened to be at the bar as well. There was a wet T shirt contest that night and she decided to participate in it. Not only that but she won. My friend stated to some younger guys around her age that right then and there they should have tried to bang her. He also went on to say that because she did the contest, she lost all of her respect and no longer should be treated in a lady like way since she showed that for $100 worth of liquor, she could be convinced to become unlady like quickly.

This got me to thinking that lightweight he was right. If your a woman who is trying to demand respect in the work place or wherever but yet you go around town acting like a ho, who should really respect you? I believe that respect is the biggest form of currency women have and to lose it could damage her immensely. In college, who wants to be known for marrying the campus hoe? How about the chick who got drunk and got a train ran on her? Or the one who dropped it like it was hot in the club a little too much? Is it fair? No but such is life. What say you ladies?